A Pocket Euro-Atlantist Dictionary



Think tanks, EU and NATO institutions … what do they all have in common? A specific and elaborate language deceptively familiar to the ear yet not so easy to understand in it’s inherent subtlety. To make reading of future texts on Kali Tribune easier, we offer our readers a short and concise dictionary of some key terms.

Change – Chaos

Public outcry – NGO report

Chaos – stable political situation when NGO reporting (n) is n<1

Managing Change – Inciting, maintaining and exploiting Chaos

Jobs & Growth – Glass pearls of various colors that dangle appealingly when your shake them before stupefied native’s faces

Challenge – Catastrophe

Catastrophe – When Challenge is not taken

Migration – Amalgam of Change, Jobs & Growth and Challenge that is always more than sum of it’s parts

Middle East – Ground zero

Europe – Soon to be Ground zero

“More Europe” – Less Europe

“Less Europe” – Not gonna happen

Brexit – Elaborate joke

Business community – Hip club with cool Masonic vibe

Terrorism – Critically acclaimed prime time TV show

Crisis – Challenge getting real challenging

Refugees crisis – see Challenge, Crisis, Migration

Democracy deficit – National sovereignty of (n>0) degree

Egoism – see National sovereignty

Barbed wire on borders (“unacceptable”, “not a solution”, “like Middle Ages”, “Nazi”) – NGO’s being underfunded, see Sovereignty, Egoism

Holocaust – God that made it big time (see, Business community)

Right-wing politician – Public official exercising a (n) degree of autonomous decision making if and only if n>0

Vladimir Putin – A pedophile who fathered all Right wing politicians

Climate Change – Unobservable fact that doesn’t exist but undeniably looms over us all

Hate speech – Opening of the mouth with firm resolve to deny someone a blowjob

ISIL, ISIS – Eden Capwell & Cruz Castillo , see Terrorism

Sustainable development – Ascending by descending

UN summit on (…) – International gaming convention

Think Tank – People in suits typing on laptops

NATO – Media corporation from Brussels, see Terrorism, ISIL, Challenge, Change

Deconstructing of (Syria, Afghanistan, EU …) –  A prime time NATO soap opera based on Think Tank typing the script, see Challenge, Change

Mindless bloodshed – Same as Deconstructing of (…) but without end credits

Tolerance – Change of indigenous people, see Challenge

UN Agenda (insert number) – Recyclable toilet paper

Open market – Fairytale, see Climate Change, Business community, Jobs&Growth

Liberalization –  Business community hosting a live gig while charging audience a ticket to get out




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